Steve's Stuff

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Memory and Community

I've been reading "The Tipping Point" by Malcolm Gladwell lately. So far, it's a great book. I just thought I'd share one of the many ideas that I've been thinking about lately.

Gladwell says that much of what we remember is actually not stored in our brain, but outside our brains. He gives the example of phone numbers - most people don't remember the actual number, but instead they remember that they can find the number in a phonebook/address book or actually in their phone memory. In the same way, a busy mom doesn't remember how to fix the computer, but she remembers that she can go to her teenage son to fix it. He calls this kind of memory "joint memory" and argues that this is another reason divorce is so difficult. When one loses a spouse, one loses part of his/her joint memory and this feels like losing a part of yourself.

This "joint memory" idea was proven by a study which asked couples to remember 64 statements 5 minutes after looking at them. The couples who knew each other remembered many more of the statements than those who didn't know each other. Those who knew each other well were able to mentally assign specific statements to each other based upon their interests/expertise's. They only had to actually remember half as many statements because they knew their partner would remember the other part.

OK - what does this have to do with anything? Well, first of all I just thought it was interesting. This means that a larger family has a larger "joint memory." How has the trend toward smaller families impacted this memory over time? How has it impacted the church? I mean, the church is supposed to be a family right? Do we have a collective joint memory?

The first 5 books ofthe Bible are evidence of this idea. These stories were passed down from generation to generation. They created an identity for the Jewish people. Everything they thought or did was impacted on some level by this identity - this "joint memory." They learned the Scriptures together and understood their whole world as a community. As a community, they interpreted the Scriptures - and for that matter, they interpreted life as a community. Over the centuries, as the church has become more and more individualistic, what have we lost? What "joint memories" are we losing? Can we regain them? How can we build and grow true community like this again? How can we live together again and build our "joint memories" in such a way that our whole community identity is found in Christ?

Anyway, these are just some thoughts.

Penn and Teller on Evangelism

A friend of mine from high school posted this video on facebook and I thought it was worth sharing.

Penn, an avowed atheist, has quite a bit to say to us on evangelism. Ultimately, it's more about who we are than what we say. Of course we've gotta say "The Gospel" but before that, we've gotta earn the right to speak. Anyway, check out this video. It's good.

4th Screen, Real Connections, and Community

Check out this video. I saw it on the Youth Specialties site and . . .well. . .in all honesty, I'm not sure what to think about it. It definitely makes me think though. That's why I posted it here. Take a couple minutes to watch it, read my post below, and then respond. I'd love to know what you guys think.

I can pretty much agree with most of what the video is saying, but I'm not quite sure it's the whole truth. I mean - Yes, the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd screens have served to connect people to the world and even to each other to some degree. But they have also served to isolate people. And the 4th? Is it really promising that much freedom? It's true that people can get their information wherever they are and that means they can be out with people and making REAL connections again, but what about the other side? For example: You're out with your friends making REAL connections, but you keep getting text messages from other people. Are you truly present with your friends? or are you really somewhere else? Doesn't this hinder REAL connections? And just because you're out and about with people doesn't mean you're making REAL connections either. I've watched lots of students (I'm a youth minister) being completely isolated by their phones in the middle of a huge group of people. 

In the end I guess this whole revolution is just another communication device. The church is just going to have to "man up" and find ways to do ministry within the cultural norms and forms of communication. I'm not sure what this revolution means to the world of ministry, but as a youth minister, I'm witnessing huge differences in the students of today compared to those even 5 years ago.

Rather than hiding in a bunker and pretending that nothing has changed, I think the church needs to discover how the 4th screen (texting, twitter, social networking, etc.) can be used to glorify God? How can the church use these new technologies to further His Kingdom? Or an even more elementary question - what is a REAL connection? What is community? Can a virtual community truly be a biblical community? What type of relationship/community is needed to honor God? What instruments/tools/technologies can help us to build those relationships/communities? Are these technologies appropriate for communicating the value/depth/glory of the Gospel?    

Anyway, these are just some of my thoughts. What do you guys think?

Small Group Exchange

I just wanted to let everybody know about a new resource for small groups. Smallgroupexchange.com launched earlier this month and has tons of helpful materials. If you're not too sure about something, they've got articles to help. There are also plenty of ideas and materials you can purchase (with reviews) to guide your study. They even have free training videos for small group leaders.

The smallgroupexchange folks have also asked me to do some writing/reviewing for their site. Wow! What an honor. You can check out my small group exchange bio here or one of my articles (What should we Study? & Leadership is Service). While you're there, you should check out Heather Zempel's articles. She's a great writer and small group guru who has been a family friend to Miranda for her whole life. She's quickly become my friend too. She also has a great blog called Wineskins for Discipleship.

Changing a Culture

Some of the church leadership people met with Dave Herman, (our "Transformation Coach") this morning and I created a few diagrams to help explain some of the things he shared. Although we talked about quite a few other topics, most of the conversations centered on changing a culture.

I think it's important to first define culture. For the purpose of this conversation, we are not talking about the culture at large but rather "organizational culture" and specifically our own church (Lake Jackson FUMC) culture. In my "Christian Leadership" classes at CBS, we learned that organizational culture is defined as "that which is assumed." People assume things to be a certain way because a culture has told them so. Assumptions are made based upon the way things have always been done within the culture of that particular organization. Culture is an understood (and mostly agreed upon) set of rules by which everyone plays within that organization. Culture was also described like an iceberg. The way an organization does things (what is seen) helps us understand it's culture, but there's usually a lot more under the surface. You can change what is seen, (like core values or mission statements) but without changing the cultural support, nothing will really be different. The look may change, but the direction and momentum remains fixed because culture carries so much weight.

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Anyway, here's the first diagram:

The congregation is represented by the blue line and the leadership by the green.

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Church/organizational culture is portrayed by the purple wave which flows in and out of it's members as a story. The church culture is very difficult to define (a wave) because it is ever-changing and organic in nature. Culture is created, reorganized, and understood by the average member throughout their lives. When they hear stories of things going on in the church or are reminded of memories of the "good ol' days," they instinctively define the church by those stories. Although it changes often, the church culture is mostly defined by who the people are, and what they've done in the past. This results in a status quo or good ol' days mentality. Some of the members, are also leaders. They may not hold positions, but they have influence and others hear their stories with greater appreciation.  

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The leadership of the church is called by God to direct, empower, and equip it's members to live out the story of God rather  than the story of the status quo. They should be mostly concerned about the future of the church and should speak a new story into the lives of it's congregation. A story which represents the calling they believe God has placed upon them collectively. The red wave represents this "God story." It's also important for this story (vision) to be clear, concise, and compelling. (not like a wave) 

I should be clear to say that the purple wave may very well be Godly too, but it is fluid in nature and much less defined. Setting a church on a specific course requires strategy which calls for definition and focus.

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Too many church leadership teams function the wrong way. They call members to join them. Yet, in the servant leader model, the leaders are called to serve their members - step out of their positions to work alongside them. In doing so, they build relationships which allow them to gain influence. Once that influence/relationship is built, the leader can tell the new story and begin to have an impact on the culture from the ground up. A leader serves. That means culture is formed as leaders kneel.  

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As those relationships grow, the members, become leaders/interpreters/proponents of the new story which they have seen lived out in their leaders. Pretty soon, enough members have become a part of the new story that the church culture approaches a tipping point. Then the culture truly begins to be shaped by the new story/vision as it ripples through the congregation. Unfortunately, there will always be a few people who will never join the new story. When the whole culture changes around them, they find themselves trapped. Some will leave the organization. Others will just go into hiding, hoping that the new story will fail so they can come out and say "I told you so." Some will just live out the rest of their lives in bitterness - always trying to regain their personal story. The good news is that God's story has room for everyone! Some (the disciples) will choose to follow while others (the Rich Young Ruler) will hold on to their own and miss out on God's best.  

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I'm excited to be a part of a new story here at Lake Jackson FUMC. I pray that I can be one of those green X's who will serve this church family by humbly telling a new story and seeking to love in such a way that the culture, community, and my friends will know Jesus more.

Just a final note of thanks to Dave Herman. This is very insightful information, which will benefit us greatly as we seek to be a part of God's work in the transformation of His church. I also want to apologize if I have misrepresented him in any way. The explanations are a combination of his words and my own thoughts. Dave, if you're reading this, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Did I get it mostly right?

Anne Lamott Quotes

Anne Lamott is one of the best writers I think I've ever read - and funny too. Anyway, this morning I started listening to her audio book (she reads herself) called "Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith."

Anyway, I just thought I'd share a few quotes that struck me:

Peace is joy at rest. Joy is peace on it's feet.

One of the top five most annoying things about God is that He rarely answers right away. It can take days or even weeks. Can you talk about God like this?

Maybe it was the 'Ham of God.'

She describes how seasonal showers fill up potholes in the rocks in the desert and frogs live in them. Then she says, "it seems you can go from parched to overflow in the blink of an eye."

"Laughter is carbonated holiness."

She tells the story of a rabbi whp says, "Studying God's word places His word on your heart." When asked by a student why it's not "in" your heart, he says, that study places it "on" your heart so that when it breaks, the word of God is what falls in." 

Here's another quote from a talk she gave to a bunch of Pastors:

She explains that cat's fur is highly flamable, but God has also placed an oil in their skin which puts the fire out. Then she says, "Cats ignite, but luckily there's grace."

3rd Space

Erwin McManus spoke at the RightNow conference in Dallas 2008 and shared a great message that solidified some of the things I've blogged about in the past. Here's my summary of his talk:

Acts 17:16 - "While Paul was waiting for them in Athens, he was greatly distressed to see that the city was full of idols. 17 So he reasoned in the synagogue with the Jews and the God-fearing Greeks, as well as in the marketplace day by day with those who happened to be there. 18  A group of Epicurean and Stoic philosophers began to dispute with him. Some of them asked, "What is this babbler trying to say?" Others remarked, "He seems to be advocating foreign gods." They said this because Paul was preaching the good news about Jesus and the resurrection.
19  Then they took him and brought him to a meeting of the Areopagus, where they said to him, "May we know what this new teaching is that you are presenting?
20  You are bringing some strange ideas to our ears, and we want to know what they mean."
21  (All the Athenians and the foreigners who lived there spent their time doing nothing but talking about and listening to the latest ideas.)
22  Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said: "Men of Athens! I see that in every way you are very religious."

Erwin points out that there are 3 different spaces described here.

The 1st space (vs 17) is where Paul goes when he is first troubled by the idolatry - The Jewish synagogue. Most church folks do the same thing. When they have a problem, they first discuss it with the people closest to them - people like them. We like to bounce ideas off of people who think, look, and act like us 'cause it's a safe way to arrange and solidify our own thinking. This is the space we arrange, create, and maintain to help us feel safe. It's home. It's where we invite others to join us. Many churches use an "attractional" ministry strategy to get people into their 1st space. This is a great strategy as long as it continues into the 2nd space.

The 2nd space is also seen in verse 17 - the marketplace. Paul immediately, takes his concerns to the people outside the church too. This is the space that no one controls - where everyone is welcome. Unfortunately, most Christians rarely speak of faith outside their "safe" church walls.  However, if they did, they might get invited into the sacred 3rd space.

The 3rd space is seen in verse 19. "Then they took him" describes the 3rd space. It's the place that others control and create. It's the place where they invite others. It's in this space that Paul's concerns are finally eased. In this 3rd space, he gets to talk to the main people he's concerned about.

This 3rd space is truly where Christians can reach the world. Instead of waiting for people to come to church, the church should go to the world and express Christ's love in such a way that they are invited into the 3rd spaces of others.

Another blog with similar ideas can be found here: Welcoming or Welcomed?

Walking, Presence, Ice Cream, and Gratitude

Over Christmas I noticed something. Now that Kasen has learned to walk, we enjoy going out together to explore the world. I have to walk at a pretty slow pace so he can keep up, but it's a lot of fun. Anyway, I noticed that when we walk together, I'm always looking up at the horizon - where we're headed, but Kasen looks at the ground and the surrounding area. He's worried about stepping over over rocks and picking up sticks, while my concerns are more about our direction and future. It's important for me to look out for his safety and watch for cars coming over the horizon, but I wonder what I'm missing? 

In the same way, if we live our lives always looking for the future - always concerned about being able to make the right corrections so we can be "safe", we're never fully present in the moment and will never be able to experience life to the "full" as Jesus talks about in John 10:10. By the way, we don't have to stress about our safety/future if we're in His hands. 

Anyway, just some thoughts today.

Another example of Kasen being fully present in the moment and relishing life happened in the car on the drive home from Ft Worth. We stopped and got ice cream at Dairy Queen. Each time Miranda fed him a bite, he'd let it melt in his mouth and then laugh and clap for it's taste. It's as if he was encouraging God with a standing ovation saying, "Yeah God! You did a good job on this one! Do it again!"

Do I celebrate and thank God for the small things? Is the taste of ice cream really a "small thing" or is it truly another expression of God's love for us? 

Consistently Emmanuel

I woke up out of bed (It's 2am) having these thoughts about "Emmanuel."  

"Emmanuel" - This name for God is always popular around Christmas because it means, "God with us." It makes sense that people would remember Him with this name during this time of year since Christmas is a celebration of Jesus coming to earth - God being present with us. 

I've been studying Joshua quite a bit lately, and there's this obscure little passage in Joshua 5:13. Joshua is about to lead Israel into the battle of Jericho and he comes across what he thinks is a man in the desert with a drawn sword. Joshua asks if he is "for us or against us." Can you hear it? Joshua wants to know if He is with them. (Remember: "Emmanuel"means "God with us") Revealing HImself as the "commander of the Lord's army," He answers saying he is not with him or against him, but that Joshua is on holy ground. Joshua immediately begins to worship, and the commander of the Lord's army begins to give Joshua the details of how to take Jericho. The whole story is tied to Moses' experience with the burning bush (even some of the same language is used - "take off shoes" "holy ground") - anyway, it's about God calling a man to follow him. 

Ultimately, it's sort of like Joshua was asking the wrong question. The right question to ask God is not "Are you for us?" but "Are we with You?" I wonder if we've been missing something at Christmas. Yes, it's important to recognize "Emmanuel" - that "God is with us." But what about the other question? - "Are we with God?" I can't speak for you, but I know in my life, God has proven Himself to be "with me" over and over again. On the other hand, I've failed to "be with Him" over and over again too. Emmanuel is consistently Emmanuel - always "God with us." I'm not very consistent. 

Like Joshua, I believe we are being called. God is calling us to join Him, to follow Him, to be "with Him." Maybe the most important thing is for me to work for that. It's the differnce between asking Him to bless the things I'm involved in as opposed to me getting involved in the things He is blessing - His work. Do I serve God or is He here to serve me? 

Emmanuel is a great reminder of God's faithfulness, but it also makes me recognize my own failures. My bride is a good example - the more she loves me, the more I realize I desire to do things for her. Her love inspires me to love her more. Emmanuel inspires me to love Him more because I recognize how amazing He truly is!

Prayer: Lord You are consistently, always, faithfully "Emmanuel." Help me to be "with You" too.